My first act of essential humility was when I reached out and asked for help.  I found a community of people who had recovered from a seemingly hopeless situation, and then became willing to listen to what they had to say.  I was amazed at the sincerity with which these people wanted to help me, and it made me even more willing to do the things they suggested.  I learned how to live honestly and how to be accountable for my own thoughts and actions.  I learned how to recognize my feelings for what they are and listen to what it was they were telling me.  Before I thought all feelings were simply meant to be pushed down deep beneath a numbing layer of intoxication.  I became interested in other people and developing a spiritual way of life that provided me with direction and purpose.  Before I had felt all alone in a crowded bar, but now I felt connected to something great even when alone.  

Having made some progress over my obsessive compulsion towards hedonistic pleasure seeking gave me the opportunity to rekindle my interests in more fulfilling behaviors.  I used to be interested in travel, exercise, sports, music and more, but I had abandoned all of these loves in order to remain self-medicated.  I resumed a program of exercise and made positive changes to my diet and social calendar.  All of these changes had me feeling better and alive again.  It was by no means easy, especially the spiritual work and self reflection required to clear up the wreckage of my past.  At times it felt like scrubbing my soul with steel wool, but I need to purge all the infecting elements of my personal defects and false ideologies.  As it turns out, this is a lifetime project, but I have come to love the challenge of it.